Hello

so, today - which should have seen us moving into a new house (there's a problem with the new rental and but we hope to move in a couple of weeks) - i've decide to return to blogging...

and as we're not physically moving house today, even though i'm emotionally prepared for it, i decided to move to a new blogging home instead :)

A LOT's swirling around my head and i needed somewhere to put it all...

the name of this new blog is from the quote by ben stein:

the first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.

and this is precisely what i intend to do with this new blog...

those who know me well, know i've struggled with this whole issue on and off throughout my life, and it's especially become difficult since the stroke...

of course, i know the basic things i want right now - to walk unaided, to have full use of my limbs, to return to work (to name but three) - but the decision-making needs to go deeper ...

i knew aged 14 i wanted to go to oxford, i knew aged 22 i wanted to go to africa, i knew aged 24 i wanted to be a wife and a mother, i knew aged 34 i wanted my kids to have the best education...

but since then i've been scrambling around for that kind of certain inner knowledge, that kind of goal and purpose...

for several years now, this quote by alfred d. souza has been how i live my life:

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.

and i know it isn't working!!! something needs to change!!

and so, the first step is for me to decide exactly what it is i want, and only then can i begin to make it happen....